At the height of the fullmoon, a flame is bursting in the open. Pieces of paper keeps burning. Every letters, every diagram and every page is a symbolic transformation of a being. As the papers turn into ashes, a new sensation inside my being is washed from all the horrors of the past.
I already burned all of the documents I have accumulated in the past. All of there are my research on mysticism and witchcraft. This is the start of another journey in my life.
People around me told me that it's a waste. They wanted to save some of them since they know all the things that I have gone through just accumulating all those things. But I told them, "I don't need them anymore."
I am also not accepting clients for Tarot Reading and Psychic Consultation. I also junked all the tools that I was using. Basically, I am closing the doors in learning magickal rituals and ceremonies.
Now, what's left is a 10year void in my life. What should I do? There is a huge space in my bookshelf. There is some vacant corners in my room.
Well, in the lighter side... I can start a new life.
Regrets? Nothing. Because I know that all these things happen for a reason.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Here comes the LIGHT...
It is really hard to relive memories of the past. There are things that can still be restored. And yet there are things that are lost forever. It had been almost 10 years since I've got this feeling, the feeling of peace, tranquility and enlightenment.
I have reached a dead end in the road. I have no choice but to go back and look for another route to get through. However, the road that I had journeyed before had been scattered with thorns. People whom I had meet had been long gone. Those who are stationed in the road isn't that friendly either. Some of them have been clouded with prejudices. (Sadly, there are only few people nowadays who believe in second chances.)
But deep inside, I really don't care. I am not here to please anybody. I am here to continue my journey... go where the GUIDING HAND is leading me.
Now that I am back into a world that I must traverse, I must enjoy the journey. Accept all the criticisms, all the discouragements and bring out my inner strength.
I know that I can make this. I know that someday, I can still find the LIGHT. I can still save the corrupted soul...
I have reached a dead end in the road. I have no choice but to go back and look for another route to get through. However, the road that I had journeyed before had been scattered with thorns. People whom I had meet had been long gone. Those who are stationed in the road isn't that friendly either. Some of them have been clouded with prejudices. (Sadly, there are only few people nowadays who believe in second chances.)
But deep inside, I really don't care. I am not here to please anybody. I am here to continue my journey... go where the GUIDING HAND is leading me.
Now that I am back into a world that I must traverse, I must enjoy the journey. Accept all the criticisms, all the discouragements and bring out my inner strength.
I know that I can make this. I know that someday, I can still find the LIGHT. I can still save the corrupted soul...
Monday, April 26, 2010
The firefly charm
I have made this charm last week. I am trying my best now to test it if it really works.
I used a wood from the tree where firefly is crowding during the night. I have inserted a quartz crystal inside the wood. Then inscribed a fairy star outside.
It is believed that the wood from the tree where firefly is crowding (puno ng alitaptap) is used to attract attention and good luck to anyone who possess it. I used the quartz crystal and fairy star to magnify its effect.
============================
Experiment 1: Luck for Gambling
I asked one of my former student to wear it during a card game.
Result:
The wearer won the 3 games. However, it took him sometime to navigate through his cards. This means that luck is not that powerful since it needed some of his skills to win the game. This charm can be used for gambling. However, it will just have a small effect.
Experiment 2: Charming others
(to be posted soon)
I used a wood from the tree where firefly is crowding during the night. I have inserted a quartz crystal inside the wood. Then inscribed a fairy star outside.
It is believed that the wood from the tree where firefly is crowding (puno ng alitaptap) is used to attract attention and good luck to anyone who possess it. I used the quartz crystal and fairy star to magnify its effect.
============================
Experiment 1: Luck for Gambling
I asked one of my former student to wear it during a card game.
Result:
The wearer won the 3 games. However, it took him sometime to navigate through his cards. This means that luck is not that powerful since it needed some of his skills to win the game. This charm can be used for gambling. However, it will just have a small effect.
Experiment 2: Charming others
(to be posted soon)
24 hour Internet
I love this 24-hour unlimited internet access given by Globe Broadband (Tattoo). I was surfing from 10am to 1am yesterday...
Using your broadband, just type SUPERSURF50 and send it to 8888. Then you will be receiving a confirmation that you can use your unlimited internet access.
It is cheap since it only cost Php 50.00. You can now have one day 24-hour unlimited internet access.
It is really a great deal especialy if you are researching through the internet.
Using your broadband, just type SUPERSURF50 and send it to 8888. Then you will be receiving a confirmation that you can use your unlimited internet access.
It is cheap since it only cost Php 50.00. You can now have one day 24-hour unlimited internet access.
It is really a great deal especialy if you are researching through the internet.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Worst Book ever...
My sister went to the bookstore to buy her favorite horror books. Then, she also bought me something. (She knew all the books that I like). I was excited when I received the text message. It's something about Gayuma (love potion).
When I saw the book.. I was browsing through it... my goodness. I was really shock.
REASONS WHY IT IS THE WORST BOOK EVER WRITTEN:
1. The literary style is a "copy cat" of a very good author I liked. It lacks originality. Bob Ong's literary style is very nice. It has a flavor of attitude and a sincere heart in the text. However, this "photo copy style" is worst since it radiates the annoying "bitchy" attitude of the author.
2. Since, the book presents the attitude of the author, it had provided views that are relevant to the author only. It does show his emotions towards people bridging into a more "hate driven" attitude. Instead of being able to relax, you will be drawn into a pool of mixed anger and hate.
3. It has no bibliographical entry nor reference materials. Within the book are insights from previously written book. I don't know why the publisher tolerated such act. However, I do know that plagarism is a crime.
The book lacks imagination and is not suitable for those who are learning about psychic skills or potion making. It is clearly a work of a "self proclaimed psychic" who day dreams he is the master of something. He should stop writing and just content himself into being a physical therapist. It is because this book will not end in my shelves. It will end up on the pile of papers that I will be burning.
When I saw the book.. I was browsing through it... my goodness. I was really shock.
REASONS WHY IT IS THE WORST BOOK EVER WRITTEN:
1. The literary style is a "copy cat" of a very good author I liked. It lacks originality. Bob Ong's literary style is very nice. It has a flavor of attitude and a sincere heart in the text. However, this "photo copy style" is worst since it radiates the annoying "bitchy" attitude of the author.
2. Since, the book presents the attitude of the author, it had provided views that are relevant to the author only. It does show his emotions towards people bridging into a more "hate driven" attitude. Instead of being able to relax, you will be drawn into a pool of mixed anger and hate.
3. It has no bibliographical entry nor reference materials. Within the book are insights from previously written book. I don't know why the publisher tolerated such act. However, I do know that plagarism is a crime.
The book lacks imagination and is not suitable for those who are learning about psychic skills or potion making. It is clearly a work of a "self proclaimed psychic" who day dreams he is the master of something. He should stop writing and just content himself into being a physical therapist. It is because this book will not end in my shelves. It will end up on the pile of papers that I will be burning.
Free as a bird
I can never forget the wisdom that was shared to me by a client when I did a Tarot Card reading for him. I was doing the reading and explaining to him about the good and bad meaning of the cards. He told me, “All the things in this world are but good and bad. The important thing is on how we see them.”
Every situation that happens to us has a dual meaning. It has some good and bad effect on us. They say that an optimist sees the world as beautiful and radiant. A pessimist sees the world as dark and cloudy. It is up to us to choose how we view our lives. However, let us not fall into the trap wherein we will be tied into one type of perspective. It is because at some point an optimist can become a fool when he doesn’t notice that he is just being used by the people around him for their own end.
There were a lot of messages sent to me by people I care about, people from my previous job. They could not believe about my decision. They can’t believe that it is all happening so fast. I couldn’t either. Earlier, I was informed that one of my co teachers took pity on my situation. I just smiled. I was telling them that I am relieved that I am not part of the institution. It feels a whole lot better than a cold bottle of Mountain Dew. Of course, I am very sad to leave people I’ve grown to love for almost 2 years. However, I need to make this decision because it is in my conviction that it is the right thing to do. Even if it is painful, we should do things according to what is right.
I told them that “everything happens for a reason.” Frankly, I don’t know what that reason is for all of this. All I know is that GOD will reveal it to me in the right time, in the right moment. Now, I only have my faith on his GUIDING HAND... faith that someday, somehow I could find the bliss, the place where I can truly belong.
For now, I am enjoying my freedom. My celebration of the Lenten Season is very solemn and prayerful. I was alone with myself, able to discern things on my own. Next week would be very busy week for me. I will be doing the job hunting (which I am very much excited). I am thrilled to know what is in store for me. People around me might think that I should be worried. It is because it is very hard to look for a job. But the truth is I am not worried. Besides I am not in a hurry to start for a new job. I am taking my time to enjoy the journey. I am taking my time, enjoying each step, spending time with my family.
It is a great feeling to be able to spread my wings... to fly... to truly become “free as a bird.”
Every situation that happens to us has a dual meaning. It has some good and bad effect on us. They say that an optimist sees the world as beautiful and radiant. A pessimist sees the world as dark and cloudy. It is up to us to choose how we view our lives. However, let us not fall into the trap wherein we will be tied into one type of perspective. It is because at some point an optimist can become a fool when he doesn’t notice that he is just being used by the people around him for their own end.
There were a lot of messages sent to me by people I care about, people from my previous job. They could not believe about my decision. They can’t believe that it is all happening so fast. I couldn’t either. Earlier, I was informed that one of my co teachers took pity on my situation. I just smiled. I was telling them that I am relieved that I am not part of the institution. It feels a whole lot better than a cold bottle of Mountain Dew. Of course, I am very sad to leave people I’ve grown to love for almost 2 years. However, I need to make this decision because it is in my conviction that it is the right thing to do. Even if it is painful, we should do things according to what is right.
I told them that “everything happens for a reason.” Frankly, I don’t know what that reason is for all of this. All I know is that GOD will reveal it to me in the right time, in the right moment. Now, I only have my faith on his GUIDING HAND... faith that someday, somehow I could find the bliss, the place where I can truly belong.
For now, I am enjoying my freedom. My celebration of the Lenten Season is very solemn and prayerful. I was alone with myself, able to discern things on my own. Next week would be very busy week for me. I will be doing the job hunting (which I am very much excited). I am thrilled to know what is in store for me. People around me might think that I should be worried. It is because it is very hard to look for a job. But the truth is I am not worried. Besides I am not in a hurry to start for a new job. I am taking my time to enjoy the journey. I am taking my time, enjoying each step, spending time with my family.
It is a great feeling to be able to spread my wings... to fly... to truly become “free as a bird.”
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Seriousness on April Fools
It is a tradition that nobody takes anybody seriously on April Fools. Here in the Philippines we seldom celebrate it during April 1 but rather celebrate it on December 28, the Innnocent's Day. However, this is a seemingly fading tradition. Only few people view the relevance of continuing such saga. In the age of materialism, wherein money is the main focus of everyone, tradition that is not "worth a peso" is not worth anything at all. Now, here I go... breaking the tradition of April Fools. This is because this blog entry is a serious matter. I am compelled to do this because I need to have a clear name regarding my departure.
Yes, I already resigned from my job. I have given my Letter of Resignation today, April 1, at around 1:00PM. It was already received.
The primary reason for my departure is the memorandum I received last March 31, 2010. Frankly, I am not afraid of any memorandum. It is because I have received some in the past employments that I have. But this memorandum is something different. It degrades me to the lowest possible creature I can think of.
The memorandum stated allegations against me. Those allegations are clearly based on rumors and half-truths. It is one sided since it was just from the point of view of the complainant (if there is any) and the institution. I was not provided with the opportunity to air out my side, since there was never any deliberation that occured.
I know that it is a long process to really clear my name. My dignity is at stake. However, I am resting my fate in the bossom of the Lord. If ever the people around me will continue to think that I am a "Misguided Guidance Counselor", it is their right. But let me tell you this, throughout my life, I have always sacrificed everything for the sake of others. I have given up my own personal needs to satisfy the needs of others. If ever people will not see it, it really doesn't matter. All I know is that I am being watched by the "All Seeing Eye"... HE knows me outside and inside.
So, for the institution that is supposed to be my refuge... my apologies... this bird has to fly.
For my students, my heartfelt apologies. I've grown closer to you but still there are things in life that we cannot control. I am doing this decision not because I don't want to be with you. I am doing this decision because it is the right thing to do. Believe me, it hurts (a lot). But when you grow older, you will soon realize that sometimes even if we don't want to do things, we have to... because we know deep within that it is the right thing to do... Just promise me that you will do great things with your life. Study hard. Pray even harder. You will soon realize that life can be a pain in the ass. But it is still worth it at all. You'll see...
For my co teachers, I am very sorry for the shortcomings that I have caused you. I know that at times I am really very hard to understand, even harder to work with. But I hope you can see it that all I am after is just "excellence in work" and for the sake of our students. If ever I have caused you pain, I am very sorry.For those who who have grown closer to me, I know how painful it is to bear my sudden departure. All I can share is the strength that I am holding on at this moment... I am constantly reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. May that reason be unknown to us during this moment, but in God's time it will be revealed. And we could see that every person, every event, everything is according to what is supposed to be. You don't need to be a psychic to know that. All you have to do is gather a strong faith to believe in HIM, who knows everything.
For the parents, for those who think that I am a "Misguided Guidance Counselor", I am very very sad for your conviction. If I was a Misguided Counselor as you are stating, then your children could have killed themselves or doing drugs at this point. You might just not approve of my methods. But it doesn't mean that it is not relevant... I admit. I am nota big psychology major. In fact, it might be a shock to you that I am a PHILOSOPHY MAJOR. So why the hell am I appointed as a Guidance Counselor? It is because during that time the institution is trusting my wisdom and experience to guide the students. My psychic skills and my 3 units in psychology had provided me with a small insight about the job description. At my end, I have exhausted all the things that I have to guide your children. My challenge is, how about you? Have you done your part? It's a shame that sometimes other people know your children better than you. Maybe it's not the children who needs counselling.
When I applied in the institution, I have all the intention to help. It is because I have known that most of employees of the school had resigned, including all key positions. Since then, I have made it a personalgoal to assist the school in any way I can. This is the reason why I am juggling jobs not suppose to be in my job description.
I have no regrets. I am not complaining about the job... I have learned to love the job. However, there are really times when we know how to turn our back and move away... Having done this does not mean that I am a quitter. Sometimes, when you know that you are not wanted anymore, you have to take actions. It is because the more you force yourself within an organization even if this is happening, you are just fooling yourself... wasting your time... and denying yourself of the opportunities that is yet to come.
It was just painful that my departure is with a heavy heart. It is because of feeling being used, feeling betrayed... And I have learned from experience that when you feel those things, it is really happening... not just another "illusion of the heart."
Yes, I already resigned from my job. I have given my Letter of Resignation today, April 1, at around 1:00PM. It was already received.
The primary reason for my departure is the memorandum I received last March 31, 2010. Frankly, I am not afraid of any memorandum. It is because I have received some in the past employments that I have. But this memorandum is something different. It degrades me to the lowest possible creature I can think of.
The memorandum stated allegations against me. Those allegations are clearly based on rumors and half-truths. It is one sided since it was just from the point of view of the complainant (if there is any) and the institution. I was not provided with the opportunity to air out my side, since there was never any deliberation that occured.
I know that it is a long process to really clear my name. My dignity is at stake. However, I am resting my fate in the bossom of the Lord. If ever the people around me will continue to think that I am a "Misguided Guidance Counselor", it is their right. But let me tell you this, throughout my life, I have always sacrificed everything for the sake of others. I have given up my own personal needs to satisfy the needs of others. If ever people will not see it, it really doesn't matter. All I know is that I am being watched by the "All Seeing Eye"... HE knows me outside and inside.
So, for the institution that is supposed to be my refuge... my apologies... this bird has to fly.
For my students, my heartfelt apologies. I've grown closer to you but still there are things in life that we cannot control. I am doing this decision not because I don't want to be with you. I am doing this decision because it is the right thing to do. Believe me, it hurts (a lot). But when you grow older, you will soon realize that sometimes even if we don't want to do things, we have to... because we know deep within that it is the right thing to do... Just promise me that you will do great things with your life. Study hard. Pray even harder. You will soon realize that life can be a pain in the ass. But it is still worth it at all. You'll see...
For my co teachers, I am very sorry for the shortcomings that I have caused you. I know that at times I am really very hard to understand, even harder to work with. But I hope you can see it that all I am after is just "excellence in work" and for the sake of our students. If ever I have caused you pain, I am very sorry.For those who who have grown closer to me, I know how painful it is to bear my sudden departure. All I can share is the strength that I am holding on at this moment... I am constantly reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. May that reason be unknown to us during this moment, but in God's time it will be revealed. And we could see that every person, every event, everything is according to what is supposed to be. You don't need to be a psychic to know that. All you have to do is gather a strong faith to believe in HIM, who knows everything.
For the parents, for those who think that I am a "Misguided Guidance Counselor", I am very very sad for your conviction. If I was a Misguided Counselor as you are stating, then your children could have killed themselves or doing drugs at this point. You might just not approve of my methods. But it doesn't mean that it is not relevant... I admit. I am nota big psychology major. In fact, it might be a shock to you that I am a PHILOSOPHY MAJOR. So why the hell am I appointed as a Guidance Counselor? It is because during that time the institution is trusting my wisdom and experience to guide the students. My psychic skills and my 3 units in psychology had provided me with a small insight about the job description. At my end, I have exhausted all the things that I have to guide your children. My challenge is, how about you? Have you done your part? It's a shame that sometimes other people know your children better than you. Maybe it's not the children who needs counselling.
When I applied in the institution, I have all the intention to help. It is because I have known that most of employees of the school had resigned, including all key positions. Since then, I have made it a personalgoal to assist the school in any way I can. This is the reason why I am juggling jobs not suppose to be in my job description.
I have no regrets. I am not complaining about the job... I have learned to love the job. However, there are really times when we know how to turn our back and move away... Having done this does not mean that I am a quitter. Sometimes, when you know that you are not wanted anymore, you have to take actions. It is because the more you force yourself within an organization even if this is happening, you are just fooling yourself... wasting your time... and denying yourself of the opportunities that is yet to come.
It was just painful that my departure is with a heavy heart. It is because of feeling being used, feeling betrayed... And I have learned from experience that when you feel those things, it is really happening... not just another "illusion of the heart."
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