A Restless Heart

A Restless Heart

The story of my Vocation

My name is Jose Ernesto M. Espinosa. I am the youngest son of Jose R. Espinosa and Estrella M. Espinosa. I am third among the three siblings. My older brother, Jose Vicente M. Espinosa, is a Civil Engineer. He is currently managing a gasoline station in Isulan and Tacurong. My older sister, Maria Cielo Gracia Jinky M. Espinosa, is a nurse. She is currently employed at the Provincial Hospital of Sultan Kudarat.

I completed my elementary and secondary education in the Notre Dame system. I attended my elementary at the Notre Dame of Isulan Elementary Department. My high school was in Notre Dame of Isulan High School Department – Day Class. Immediately after high school, I went inside the seminary in the Notre Dame Archdiocesan Seminary. When I attended my workshop, instantly I like the place. I like the peacefulness and solemnity of the environment. My academic and spiritual life was molded. I became a better person. I cultivated my confidence. I discovered some talents I hesitated to share when I was in high school. When I was in Third Year College, a friend invited me to spend a week observation in the Benedictine monastery. I found my calling to the monastic life. I told my parents about it. They were hesitant. I dismissed the idea. I thought, I could still make it when the time is right.

After my Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy in Notre Dame University, I went out of the seminary. I asked permission from my rector if I can have the time off to experience life outside. I was then employed at Claret High School in Zamboanga city. I became the religion teacher for Grade One to Grade Three. I was handling 9 sections a day. During that time, I also formed a music band. This band is composed of alumni of Claret. In the morning, I teach kids. In the evening, I sing with the band. After awhile, I fell ill. The doctor told me that I might be at risk of getting a heart problem. This was because of the stressful lifestyle I was in. My parents urged me to return home in Isulan. I rested for about 3 months. During my rest, I thought that I could learn something different. I went to Davao city to learn voice lesson at Yamaha School of Music. After about three months of lessons, I was summoned to Tacurong City. I was called by Jean Piaget Center for Learning to be a teacher. I went there to teach because of a request of a friend. I served them for about a year.

During that time, I felt I am drifting away from my vocation. That is why I decided to go with a priest, who is a family friend, in his parish in Banisilan, North Cotabato. I volunteered to help him in the different ministries of the parish. It was a challenge for me since I was a very remote parish. I stayed there for about one year and a half until Notre Dame of Tacurong College found me. They needed a secretary/ documentor for a special project funded by the Ford Foundation. Since I am acquainted with office and field work, they hired me for the project. We were reaching out to the Indigenous people of Sultan Kudarat. We were educating the parents on how to take care of their children. We were assisting the Day Care workers on how to prepare their visual aids and lessons to gain the attention of the children. I worked for the project for one year. The administrators of Notre Dame of Tacurong College wanted to hire me as a regular employee. Since that project is just contractual, I needed to be transferred to another office to gain a regular status. I was transferred to the Research Center of the school. I was under my former rector in the seminary, Msgr. Antonio P. Pueyo, DCC. I served for two years under his wings. I was exploring the field of Anthropology because of the different researches assigned to me. After two years, ABS-CBN found me. They invited me to audition in a paranormal show.

I went to Manila to try my luck. I auditioned as a psychic in Studio 23’s Nginiiig Paranormal Investigation. After 3 months of thorough auditions, I was selected as one of the three regular psychics of the show. It was, however, short lived. The show closed because of the lack of fund. I was jumping from show to show just to be interviewed and assist, whenever they need somebody of my expertise. I survived in Manila doing my Tarot reading to those who are in need of my services. After about 2 years, I decided to leave it all behind. I didn’t like the lifestyle. I can’t picture myself doing those things until my retirement age. I went back to Isulan.

I landed in Montessori Learning Center of Isulan. I was hired as the Guidance Counselor of the school. I was also the language teacher for the High School Department. I was happy with my job. Yet, I could still find some missing pieces of who I am. That was the time when I looked back at my journey. I remembered by seminary formation.

I realized something that I am called to be with Him. I joined the Singles for Christ, in the hope of serving Him even as a lay worker. But it was not enough. I need to do more… I decided to apply in the monastic life.

Isulan

March 27, 2011

12:20 NN