Death and Confusion

Aurora had been missing for 3 days...

Aurora was my familiar... When Red died, she was my constant companion. When I went home to work,she's usually standing at the door... waiting for me because it is her time to enter the room. I had somepeaceful sleep when she's at my side. Sometimes she's a bit annoying. But most of the time sheis very caring... She's always begging for food.
A few nights before she disappeared, she was sick. She's a bit lonely and a bit insecure. That was the time when she slept at my dresser. She doesn't want to be bothered. I took care of her. But there's not much I could do...

Then three days ago, I couldn't find her anywhere. I admit that I had some busy schedules. I was alwaysat work. There was also a night when I slept at school... I looked for her. I patroled our neighborhood, hoping that I would find her. But she's gone...

One day, a thought dawned on me. She's really dead. I mourned. I lighted a white candle to bid herfarewell. I also prayed that she will finally find her rest and peace in the presence of our creator...

My mourning was short, as I was presented with a new familiar.

Her name is Dolly. She had the same color as Aurora. However, her eyes are not normal. I loved herbecause she's very affectionate. I could stroke her fur. Then she slept at my lap. She's the kitten of Thacky, the mother of Aurora. I realized that I had moved on to the next familiar. Things could be better now that I have a new guide.

One day, I found her dead. She was bitten by our dog. She's just a month old. I felt so much pain. It was nothing like I felt before. I grabbed the badminton racket. I beat the hell out of our dog. Then I realizedthat I couldn't hit him further because the racket was broken into pieces.
I went to my room. I grabbed the bottle of beer (grande). I drank all of it at once. I had to find some wayto calm myself. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I am trying to control my anger. I must not goout of the room, as I might kill anybody in my way.

To divert my attention, I grabbed a joke book and started reading. Then the emotions subside.
Until now, I could still feel the pain. I could still pain in losing 2 familiars in just a week.
Reflecting on it, I couldn't comprehend the message handed down to me... Why is this happening to me?Where am I being lead to?

Will I be able to gain another familiar? Or I am bound to traverse the magickal road alone?